Spelling it out…

Tori and Dean

Tori and Dean

Let me start by admitting what it seems is perceived as a cardinal sin amongst some…I watch Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood…I know, oh the shame of watching reality tv. I accidentally landed on the Oxygen channel when surfing one evening and it was on, I left it on and eventually was watching it. So there…

I was amazed at how grounded Tori Spelling was really. Being the daughter of Aaron, I assumed her to be stuck up, full of crap and ponsy…but she does not seem to be. I take reality tv of this sort at face value because while they like to let us believe that they forget the cameras are there, it is hard to believe that you can’t see the dude balancing the thing on his shoulder closely followed by the sound man standing in the middle of your housewarming party…but still, she seemed less diva-esquethan what I imagined. Their interactions seem genuine and it seems to be a happy families story.

But then of course that I remember how the two of them got together: while they were both married…I despise infidelity and I am not fond of adulterers so while some find their “happy families” display on television despicable, I am a little more shallow. I enjoy the humor and the going-ons in a house I will never set foot in.  And in despising infidelity I look towards Hollywood and the rest of Celebrityville to find famous people who are squeaky clean. Ah, I sit and think, lets see…

Brad Pitt – um no. Bill Clinton…no again…John Edwards…ooohh did not see that one coming…And then I think, if people who are followed by the press and the papparazzi think they can get away with it, and some do, how many Joe Soaps are out there who DO get away with it. In my group of friends, I know quite a few who have had a spouse cheat on them and for a while they did get away with it. I sit in my living room and think, how many marriages are out there who are suffering under infidelity?

As much as what we want our marriages to work, or as much as what we yearn our partner to honor the “til death do us part” section, do we want to stay with some one for the sake of some words. I have read a few stories and accounts written by the women of the “the first wives club” and some accounts written by the children of marriages when the cheating spouse “abides” their time until the kids were old enough and many of the kids said they would rather have their parents apart and happier, than staying together under duress. The tension in the marriage can not be depleted by the “good” intention of staying together for the sake of the children. The difference just with the McDermotts in Los Angeles – they were in the public eye. And while people bitch on the Oxygen site about how they got together, I am wondering why these people are watching the program. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it.

So while I am not impressed by Dean McDermott cheating on his wife while they have a young son and were in the process of adopting a daughter, or Tori for cheating on her husband, I am enjoying the voyeuristic peek into their life. And while we think that in an ideal world, they should have both left their respective marriages before making a move, when last did anything happen that would happen in an ideal world – hell in that case, we would never have got another Bush in the Whitehouse: read my lips. And while I do like some of what I see of how the other half live, I am happy to be where I am, in my life, with my children and the place the Hub and I find ourselves in in our marriage.

Love you babe!

[ and yes…I still watch Home Sweet Hollywood…it sure beats watching the onesided news!]

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~ by ski holidays on August 24, 2008.

12 Responses to “Spelling it out…”

  1. Love you back baby!

  2. @ AA – aaaaahhhhh….;-)

  3. I love the audrey on your page :]

    And I also really enjoy this show. Now, I’m only 16, but in today’s world their just seems to be so much pressure to live the perfect life. Girls my age are so desperate for love and need it to make themselves feel worthy, so I can see that things like Tori and Dean would happen because people just want to settle. They want to get right into their “perfect life” that they may not know what they’re doing and if they really are happy with their spouse. It just seems like people are so scared they won’t find love they grasp at any opportunity they have, thus marriages that end like this.

    But still, they are so adorable, and I love Liam!

  4. You two are too cutes we should get you YOUR own show… let me know and I’ll start sending out the mails to Oprah and the crew *grins*

    Ok so here is the idea… one book right on the one side is AA’s accounts and on the other side is yours, kinda split down the middle like those books in the olden days “Afrikaans” and “English” side… yes? I just know it can work and how cool would that be!!!

  5. @ gabriellabellaaa – you know the important thing is to take your time making the right decision – easier said than done. But in the same breath – taking your time is not waiting until you are forty but also not racing into something when you are 18. The biggest problem with programs like this though is that the we don’t get to see the really bad bits (of course if there are any…) – I know they show that there are some little rough spots but in any marriage there are disagreements and off moments and I am sure we don’t get to see these. My Hub and I have been together for 18 years now (married for 15) and I sure as hell would not want it all out there. But having said that, they do allow us into their lives for a wee while so that we can see how they are and how they live and I enjoy that…good luck to them and good luck to you…
    thanks for the visit 🙂

  6. @ SF – hey start phoning…might make a good Christmas project! Like the idea too for the book. Will talk to the Hub and see what we can come up with – although his would have to have a PG18 warning.

  7. @SanityFound. I’ll just write the first word. She finishes my sentences in any case!

  8. @ AA – careful now…:-)

  9. LMAO @ you two gawd it must be a laugh a minute in that house!

  10. @ SF – you have no idea – we are sitting next to each other in the living room commenting on each other’s blogs…bit bizarre I tell you but yes we do talk to each other…or in AA’s mind he starts to talk and I finish….

  11. I have never seen this show. I like some reality shows but I tend to like the “contest” ones more than “ living with the x, y, z” ones. I like Dancing With The Stars and Survivor. I do watch Big Brother in the summer only if I like the contestants but that’s probably because I’m desperate to watch anything that’s not a re-run. I’m not a channel flipper so if something I like is on, I’ll watch it but I won’t search for something to watch. I’d rather just have quiet or music.

    I don’t know what to think of these kinds of people. On one hand, we only know what they want us to know. They aren’t going to show unflattering things about themselves. On the other hand, raised as Aaron Spellings daughter, mother is self absorbed, having snow delivered for Christmas so you can make snowballs, marry, cheat with another married person, both divorce, estranged from parents, dad dies, gets a “measly” $800.000 in father’s will…..whew……

    What was the question again?? LOL!!! I got a little of topic there!!

  12. @ Joy – sounds a bit like a soap opera – So are the Days of our lives. Having said that, we do see her shed a tear or two but generally it is a very “happy” program. I just them find them amuzing as a couple. They have a lot of money, she works on her jewelry line, her books and other things but they still worry about their budgets. Of course I would love to have a budget like that to worry about! It is a bit of fun really. Nothing spectacular. Tori and Dean seem very real and down to earth and if it is just an act – then we do not give them enough credit as actors!

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